I COULD’VE DIED TODAY.

Hi everyone! So, I’m allergic to hazelnuts, pecans, and worst of all, walnuts. Except my doctor described it as “nut sensitivity” and not an “allergy.” What happens when I eat those nuts? My throat gets itchy and it’s uncomfortable. But I still eat Nutella and those nuts sometimes because nothing bad ever really happens and I can deal with it.

But this morning, I came to school, and took a tiny bite of a Kind Bar- Fruit and Nut. Immediately I could feel my throat swell, my breathing becoming harder, unable to swallow. I ran to the water fountain, but as I just wrote- I couldn’t swallow, so I coughed it back up.

I went down to the nurse’s office, and thankfully, the feeling was beginning to fade. The nurse told me that I was having an analeptic reaction, a very serious allergic reaction. He told me that it was very possible my throat would swell up again, that I could get hives, that my airways could close. Because whatever I ate was still in my system.

The swelling went down, but my throat still tingled and itched a little bit over the next couple hours. Then, suddenly, my throat swelled again and I got hives and the school had to call an ambulance. I got oxygen, an epipen, Benadryl, and steroids. And then I fell asleep in the hospital for the next few hours while they monitored me. I had an IV in my right arm, a thing hooked up to my finger to monitor my heartbeat, one of those velcro blood pressure things on my left arm, five sticky circles with tubes on them to monitor my breathing, heart-rate, who knows? There were four doctors and a nurse surrounding me when I first got there and it was terrifying.

But, in the end, I was okay. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to type this, would I? I got discharged after four hours of monitoring, and I finally got to leave with my dad, who left work to meet me at school before they even needed to call an ambulance.

But I’m home now. Safe. With an epipen prescribed to me. I know the drill. If it ever happens again, I stab myself through my pants, hold it there for ten seconds, call 911. Or have someone else call 911 if I can’t.

It’s a scary thing! I’ve never had any sort of reaction like this before! I’d taken a tiny bite. Imagine if I’d taken a huge bite. I was in the middle of a fairly vacant hallway. What of my airways closed and I could yell for help? It’s probably better not to think about that stuff. I’m hosting an English-style tea party next week, so I’ll think about that instead.

Good luck in life, you guys!

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FRIENDSHIPS AHHH

Hi everyone, so on Thursday and Friday, I didn’t post anything. On Thursday, I had to write ten pages for Friday, and I had to skip supporting my friend in a school performance. So I was pretty upset about that. I did hang out with them at the school, though, until 5:30, when I decided I had to leave. Until then, a number of things had been going on. I was hanging out with my friends, and I don’t really remember what happened, but I felt tired. Lately, “tired” and “sad” have become the same word in my vocabulary.

Anyway, I was tired, and I took a walk to the bathroom with a friend who isn’t really a part of my friend group. I remember telling her what happened, and I remember her telling me, “Your friends kind of put you down.”

Heather wasn’t there, but I need to come up with names for my other friends: Belle, Alice, Meg, Wendy, and Ariel (I’m a big Disney fan).

I told Alice, “I thought the problem was only Meg, but I think it might be Wendy, too.”

I’d had problems with Meg in the past, and she wasn’t the nicest person ever. I’d tried to separate myself from her, but that would mean separating from Belle, Wendy, Ariel, and Heather, too.

I went on, “Wendy has told me she doesn’t really like how Meg treats people, including herself, but acts just like her when they’re together. And when I’m the target, it becomes two-on-one.”

“Yeah, I noticed that, too, and I’m not even friends with them,” Alice said.

We talked a lot, and basically, we came to one conclusion: I had to fully and successfully separate myself from Meg.

So I kind of spent the rest of my time there avoiding Meg and Wendy, walking Alice to a different room and hanging out there for a bit. At one point, Belle came to find me and we talked about everything I talked about with Alice. She was supportive, but Meg didn’t bother her, so she didn’t really know what to do or say to comfort me. She’s a great friend, though.

Then, “Dan”, one of my favorite teachers, approached me and asked if I was okay, and I told him yes. He said that I still seemed my optimistic self, but more stressed and tired. Tired=sad.

I went home after that, walking with Belle to the subway, to go home and write ten pages (eight for one research paper, two for another), because I’m a terrible procrastinator. I went to bed at 2, and woke up at 6 to finish what was left.

The next day, Friday, yesterday, I talked with him after school. For like forty-five minutes. About it all. And he told me the same thing Alice did: that I have to separate myself from Meg. He said that on paper, I could still be friends with her, but to limit my contact with her. He said that Heather and I should break off from the group entirely, because Meg was bullying us both.

So, yesterday, I avoided Meg, which wasn’t very hard because I’d realized I’d been doing that for some time, and I had other friends than in my friend group, so I was fine. I came home, and had a family dinner. It was nice. We had guests. My neighbor/friend was there. It was relieving. It was my last day of classes for the first semester! I have two finals next week, and then a week off. I’m feeling better. Everyone left around 11, and by 11:30, I was ready for bed, which is why I didn’t post yesterday, either.

I’m Sorry!

So I’ve been dealing with lots of stressful things lately that I will get into TOMORROW. I’m super sorry for not properly posting yesterday or today, but it is 11 pm and I got four hours of sleep last night and I am falling asleep. First thing tomorrow, I’ll write. I promise. And in the words of Disney’s Rapunzel, “When I make a promise, I never break that promise. Ever.”

A Happy Story of How I Saved a Cat

Who’s stressed about high school/college? I am! So, I thought I’d write some happy feel-good stuff to make you people, and myself, feel a little bit better.

Imagine the following: perfectly sharpened pencils with nearly unused pink erasers. A puppy with its tongue hanging out of its mouth racing towards you, too fast for its little puppy legs to handle, so it stumbles over them multiple times, but never ceasing its speed until it’s next to you on the couch, its head in your lap, butt in the air as its tail wags back and forth.

One time, I’d just arrived with my family to this creepy hotel we were going to stay at for a night. We were in the middle of the jungle in Costa Rica on a rare family vacation. My dad went to check in, my mother and sister and brother went to explore the place, and I heard a meow. I looked around, walking forward into the empty-of-people restaurant area with no walls, towards the tiny sound until I heard it again. I looked up, and there, at the edge of the roof, was a tiny cat’s head sticking out upside-down, looking down at me.

“Hi, Cat,” I told it. The cat meowed at me, and I walked over to it, to stand directly under it. “How did you get up there?” I asked, mostly to myself, scanning the area to see where the kitten could have jumped up from. The kitten meowed again, and didn’t stop meowing until I looked back at it and asked, “What?” It stopped. “Are you stuck?” I asked, realization settling in on me.

After a quick walk around the area, I found a slightly shorter rooftop attached to the big one. This shorter one had a pipe attached to it that went down a little bit, just low enough for a kitten to hop from it to a counter, where I could pick it up. “Hi, Cat,” I said in my animal voice, the voice I use when talking to animals. It’s higher than my normal voice, and happier, too. I heard the tiny little thumps of the kitten making its way towards the sound of my voice.

When the little cat poked its head out at me, I pointed to the lower roof, saying, “Jump!” as if it could understand me. “Hi, Cat,” I repeated, walking to the other end of the shorter roof, in hopes it would follow my voice, which it did. I then positioned myself at the other end of the pipe, and repeated, “Hi, Cat.” It dubiously tested the pipe, and then scurried its way over to me, and the counter. When it was on the counter I picked it up, noticing it was a she, and said, softer, “Hi, Cat.” And then, “where’s your mother?” She was small enough to noticeably be a kitten, but big enough to not be completely dependent on her mother.

I placed her on the floor, and made my way over to a couch. She soon hopped up beside me, and fell asleep in my lap. It was the cutest thing I ever experienced in my entire life. I could feel her breathing, her warmth, and I could see her curled up in a little C shape, her eyes closed and ears twitching.

Turned out she was one of two of the hotel’s pets. There was also a dog. It was relieving to know she had a home.

I hoped you enjoyed this short little story of how I saved a cat.

Don’t be shy to comment your thoughts on anything, or share your own happy story. Thanks!

My Zoology Teacher Is A Jerk (How Do I Deal With Insomnia?)

You know what she did? She assigned a 6-page research paper. What about? Anything. We pick the topic. Show her an outline. She’s gotta approve it. Due today. Everyone’s freaking out last night, because us high schoolers are horrible procrastinators. Isn’t in school today. It’s due Friday. Just wanted to see who did it for the day it was due. Nice. Thanks for that.

Anyway, how are you guys? I haven’t posted for a couple days. I decided that I wouldn’t post on Sundays and Mondays because now I take an SAT prep class Sundays for four hours, but takes six hours out of my day in all honesty. I mean, I have to wake up, get ready, eat breakfast, drink coffee, take the train there. About an hour and a half. And then another half an hour to get home–that’s six hours. Then I have to eat (by the time I get home, it’s two), do what’s left of my procrastinated homework, waste some time, eat dinner. So there you go.

MONDAYS: I have dance class/rehearsal after school until 7:45, so I only get home around 8:15, when I have to eat my dinner, and do my homework.

BUT LAST NIGHT, I got home a bit after eight, and fell asleep on the couch in my clothes without dinner. I’ve been sort of not been able to sleep for the past week or so? I assume it’s stress, but who knows?

I guess this is what I’d suggest I do, and what you should do, too, if you’re having similar issues.

1. DON’T LOOK AT SCREENS for at least an hour before going to sleep. Try reading, knitting, doing work off-screens. At least try for half an hour. I know it’s hard.

2. EAT NORMALLY. Like, healthy food, no caffeine!!

3. EXERCISE regularly! It helps with things! I also find that when I exercise shortly before I sleep, it’s easier to fall asleep. I guess that’s what happened yesterday.

4. TRY WRITING before sleeping, or doing something that is a stress-reliever to you. Maybe your issue is too much stress?

5. IF ALL ELSE FAILS, MAYBE SEE SOMEBODY. I feel like this is the final step in anything I could ever write on this blog.

So, good luck in sleep troubles! And wish me luck in mine!

Star Birthdays and Spirit Animals: Hello.

Hello, everyone. What a great day! I feel like the universe gave me today because my yesterday was so shitty. I don’t even believe in anything like that, but this happens sometimes. A terrible day, and then a great day, as if to make up for the previous day.

My blog here is all about issues and problems, but the only problem I’ve faced today is that my friend and I don’t know what to call our band. Or the book we’re writing together. But if that’s all that concerns me as of the moment, I think I’m doing pretty okay.

I guess I felt like I had to blog because since Tuesday, I’ve blogged every day. And I don’t really want to stop that blogging streak. I haven’t even had almostanaddict for a week and I’m already so attached to it and proud of it and my whopping amount of four followers!

Everything is so great today!

I want this to be an interactive blogpost, so tell me: 1. Your favorite color, 2. Your favorite animal, 3. Your favorite season, 4. Your favorite clothing. Your spirit animal is your favorite color wearing your favorite clothes in your favorite season. What’s your spirit animal? I used to play that when I was little. But all my answers kept changing every time I played. All except for my favorite season, which always has been spring. It’s my birthday season, and I feel like it’s not too hot like in summer, and it’s right after the harsh cold winter, so the weather is fabulous, and there’s color suddenly! And a colorless season of white and gray! So I love spring.

Why do you love what you love? It’s fun to answer this question, and it makes you feel good and happy.

What’s your star birthday age? I don’t know if this is a legitimate thing, but my sister told me it was when she was eight and I was ten, so I think that’s pretty solid. Star birthdays are when you are the age of the day of the month in which you were born. For example, my star birthday would be my eighteenth birthday, because I was born on the eighteenth. So what is yours? Has it happened yet?

Have fun in life. I’m tired. I think I’m gonna go to sleep early tonight. Goodnight.